I will not be doing back flips.
In our society, one of the principles we hold dear is the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. I believe in this principle as dearly as our founding fathers. While the Constitution of the United States does not cite this explicitly, presumption of innocence is widely held to flow from the 5th, 6th, and 14th amendments. With that being said, I will now express great sadness.
With regards to the predicament a well-known New Mexico provider currently finds herself in, I don’t doubt there are many providers secretly doing back flips of joy. The news media has not publicly outted this individual using the name by which most of us know her; however, I will NOT be the first to cross that line.
To me, the aforementioned is a tragedy of multiple dimensions. Lately, there has been a pervasive sense of desperation within our industry. I have observed that our industry has been backsliding on the professional standards to which we, as a subculture, collectively hold ourselves. Let’s not pretend that providers aren’t cutting each other’s throats through acts of price gouging, character assassination, unsafe practices, and client poaching via requests for provider references. One could argue that things have always been this way and on strictly technical grounds, one would be correct. Yet in all of my years on the provider side of our industry, I have never seen circumstances as dire as they are now.
When one of us is arrested for the alleged crime of kidnapping, false imprisonment, and human trafficking, it is a collective taint upon all of us. Under normal circumstances, hearing of events such as these inspires thoughts of the drug dealing exploiters that pollute the streets or those otherwise on the lower end of our industry.
Let’s be emotionally honest here: most of us on the web consider ourselves above such things. We wouldn’t dare lower ourselves to such plebeian behavior because after all, we’re different than “those people.”
If I were an outsider, I would have legitimate cause to ask, “Well, are you really?”
This is the first tragedy: the downfall of the collective reputation of those of us part of the “Escort Companion” world. Those fanatics who would demonize us can now hold this incident up to judgment and shout, “See! They are ALL miscreants and sinners! They should be wiped from the face of the earth!”
The second tragedy is the alleged victim of this crime. It was reported that the victim met the provider’s significant other on a social networking site and told him she was being abused at her residence in North Carolina. He (or they) subsequently offered her a plane ticket, which the victim accepted and was flown from the east coast to the west. I do not intend to downplay or make light of her experiences, nor do I feel ANY human being is deserving of the same… but isn’t the alleged victim, on some level, accountable for not exercising some semblance of common sense? Let us not be blind to a simple pattern of human behavior: Eternal victims will inevitably and repeatedly attract those who exploit them. This does not absolve the provider and significant other in question of their alleged behavior (if they are truly guilty) but it is nonetheless a sensible question to ask.
The third tragedy is that which befalls the lives of the provider and her significant others. If they are indeed guilty, then life as they know it will be fundamentally, permanently, and negatively altered. Our industry will lose a provider who, according to industry reviews, was a competent professional. No life is truly isolated; we are all connected in some way. Everyone has family; I wonder what the effect will be on her parents, siblings, nieces and nephews? How will they process this, and then take it on themselves as a reflection of their family honor? Or perhaps, they will not even care at all; for all we know, this may be only a blip on the radar of a string of previous poor decisions, all leading up to this moment.
If I were to say that any of this surprises me, I would be lying. I’m not Monday morning quarterbacking or rearranging facts like a bad psychic in order to appear prophetic. Several months ago, I had a conversation with two of my associates regarding this provider because I had noticed several changes in her patterns; specifically, her physical appearance, the manner in which she conducted business, and even her choices in words for her marketing. As I pointed out to my associates, in the science of human understanding, everything means something. However, the question is, what? At the time, I merely commented, “I hope that drugs or any association with that lifestyle is not involved here, since we all know how that eventually ends.”
There are times when you cannot take any amount of pride in being correct. Being right does not bring truth; rather it precedes suffering. Even using the most permissive form of “the benefit of the doubt,” there are limited conclusions one can arrive at when the authorities–who have an APB out on you–apprehend you only because they conveniently had a known drug house under surveillance.
I’ve have always believed that on some level, there are no accidents. That there is no such thing as absolute destiny or absolute free will. These are merely ripples from the choices we make, thrown into the pond of life.
As much as I’d love to wax poetic and call for a collective awakening of our industry, I know that my words are not going to be the final spark that motivates our industry to collectively raise its standards. The truth is, each of us will continue to do as we do and most of us will not raise above our comfort zones to achieve a higher standard. The only person I can control in all of this is me and I will continue to hold myself to the high standards I have already established. Yes, there are moments when I miss my own targets and I will be the first to admit to the same. However, there are some things you just don’t do and this entire incident, if proven to be true, is most certainly one of them.
I am truly saddened by this turn of events for all parties concerned and unlike some, I will NOT be doing back flips of joy because when you really think about it, we have all suffered on this day.
Be well and be good to each other.
Lee Dreams
Lee, I like your statement, "I’ve have always believed that on some level, there are no accidents. That there is no such thing as absolute destiny or absolute free will. They are merely the ripples from the choices we make thrown into the pond of life."
I agree that nothing happens at random. Every happening has a cause. That is the Karma theory.
i have read your article "I will not be doing back flips" this is a good article.that there is no such thing as absolute destiny or absolute free will.
I agree. The only thing we have the power to change is ourselves.
thanks for sharing valuable information. i will also keep it up.